PERCEPTION

This is how I see the world. walking around, trying to sleep, and working. I see faces in front of my vision, people walking around when there aren't any actually there, figures standing watching me. My memories and world exist in sometimes a dream haze. It is hard to describe how I experience the world. Not everyday is this bad, and soem days are worse. If you are upset by images easily, please do not view the following image.

There is a very strong sense that I am observed usually, and my paranoia makes me believe strange things. I sometiems think I am being "gang stalked" or similar concepts. I have before had freakouts in front of others, or talked to people who others cannot see. It is very embarrassing. Dream distortion perception makes me more prone to bad reactions. I remember one time driving up my hill in the dark, and the driver pointed up ahead into the car's headlights into the bushes and trees that lined the steep hill, and screamed about how a meme image I found scary was there, and I looked and I saw it and screamed as loud as I could. My chest expanded and my heart began to explode and scream and I screamed and moaned and wailed in agony as the fear lit me on fire. I was inconsolable. It felt like the fear in my body was expansive and life or death. It was like I was being beaten. And I saw it there in the headlights.

It is horrible to react to my hallucinations. It is scary and all emcompasing and real. People do not understand. It is hard when anyone freaks out, but I know I act in a bizzarre way. I just hope people understand it is hard. and It is so so terrifying. It is living in a nightmare, and your body gets more and more scared until it crescendos. I hope you will see this extension of an example of my perception of the world as a way to understand my strangeness.